By The cancellation saddened me not only because I knew how much those coping with the unexplained disappearance of a loved one were looking forward to being together under one roof, but also because the annual event simultaneously assists in boosting public awareness about unsolved cases.
But the one to cancel the 2020 New York State Missing Persons Day tugged at the valiant widow’s heartstrings like no other she’d previously made in her capacity as director of Ballston Spa-based Center for HOPE (Healing Our Painful Emotions).
The event, which has taken place in Albany on or near Suzanne’s April 6 birthday each year since 2001, has earned accolades for bringing friends and relatives of legions of missing persons together to reflect, remember and provide mutual support. The thought of the pandemic robbing loved ones of the chance to gather and embrace weighed heavily on Lyall. However the prospect of even one attendee contracting COVID-19 or contributing to the disease’s spread upon returning home ultimately left her with no choice but to err on the side of caution.
“The cancellation saddened me not only because I knew how much those coping with the unexplained disappearance of a loved one were looking forward to being together under one roof, but also because the annual event simultaneously assists in boosting public awareness about unsolved cases,” explains Lyall.
Just when she thought nothing could ever soften the blow of the loss of the 2020 NYS Missing Persons Day, Lyall heard from Mark Blech who was then commencing work on a community arts exhibit honoring First Responders that would be presented to the village shortly after Labor Day. (CLICK HERE to read related feature.)
“Ballston Spa Police Chief Dave Bush felt it was important for a way to be found for cases involving missing persons to be recognized as part of the initiative because such crime victims and their loved ones are important to him and the law officers who serve under his command,” says Lyall.
Mary Lyall’s purpose-filled life has increasingly been heralded as a shining example of what can happen when the human heart and spirit summon the strength and the courage to transform a tragedy of immeasurable proportions into rays of hope for others. Indeed the April 2018 New York State Missing Persons Day had proven to be extra meaningful when NYS Senator James Tedisco presented her with the state’s highest award: The Liberty Medal.
“We had to strike a balance between including a photo of each person as he or she looked around the time of his or her disappearance and a few key facts about each criminal justice mystery on a banner while at the time taking as much care as possible to be sensitive to the feelings of those who would be viewing the outdoor exhibit along parts of Front Street and Milton Avenue.”
What the banners do not reveal is that families and friends of missing persons typically experience intense emotions ranging from shock and disbelief to sorrow and grief to frustration and anger before finally coming to the gut-wrenching realization that this is not some nightmare from which they will awaken if pinched. At this point, the most devastating emotion of all – despair – often enters the scenario.
There was, Lyall recalls, no place she and her husband Doug (who passed away in 2015) could turn for the kind of guidance and support they needed when they received the life transforming call about their youngest child nearly a quarter of a century ago. The lack of resources and support available to them and Suzanne’s older siblings, Sandra and Steven, ultimately became the spark that ignited the flame that led to the founding of The Center for HOPE and its outreach initiatives.
It was out of the ashes of their anguish and grief that the couple co-founded The Center for HOPE around the turn-of-the-millennium. Advocacy, education and prevention are cornerstones of the not-for-profit which has earned a national reputation as a beacon and a life raft for those struggling to cope with the unexplained disappearance of a loved one.
Mary Lyall’s purpose-filled life has increasingly been heralded as a shining example of what can happen when the human heart and spirit summon the strength and the courage to transform a tragedy of immeasurable proportions into rays of hope for others. Indeed the April 2018 New York State Missing Persons Day had proven to be extra meaningful when NYS Senator James Tedisco presented her with the state’s highest award: The Liberty Medal. In a poignant tribute, Tedisco had praised Lyall as “a community hero who turned her own personal tragedy into a positive crusade to help other families across the USA.”
It’s impossible to articulate how much I miss Doug, his empathy, his encouragement, his insights, his optimism … And there will always be a hole in my Mama Bear heart only Suzy, who was my Baby Bear, can fill. But when (prior to the pandemic) I began meeting with the students, several became close to me, almost like surrogate children. Their presence in my life made me realize there’s always room in one’s heart for more love.
She and Doug also spearheaded efforts to introduce the Missing Persons Alert System through the NYS Thruway and Missing Persons profiles on NYS tax forms. Having decks of Cold Case playing cards produced for circulation among inmates in county jails and Coasters for HOPE featuring missing persons distributed for use in restaurants and bars are other notable achievements.
Additional undertakings included working with Professor Christina Lane’s College of St. Rose Cold Case Analysis Center interns and involvement with a popular WGY investigative podcast series titled Upstate Unsolved hosted by Phoebe LaFave.
“It’s impossible to articulate how much I miss Doug, his empathy, his encouragement, his insights, his optimism,” muses Lyall. “And there will always be a hole in my Mama Bear heart only Suzy, who was my Baby Bear, can fill. But when (prior to the pandemic) I began meeting with the students, several became close to me, almost like surrogate children. Their presence in my life made me realize there’s always room in one’s heart for more love. There’s increased reason to hope that the answers I seek involving my daughter and other missing persons will eventually come into the light aided by their efforts – and now, by the added efforts of the community arts exhibit honoring First Responders.”
There is no way of knowing how many families may yet be spared the agony of losing a loved one because of the tireless efforts of Mary Lyall and The Center for HOPE. To learn more, visit www.hope4themissing.org or call 518.884.8761.
